viernes, 10 de septiembre de 2010

Mandarinas: Por lo que creo en Dios

or: Tangerines: Reason I believe in God


English:
Hello, my friends, and welcome. Let me start by stating that, despite the title, I consider myself an agnostic. I believe in destiny and whole other crap...
But, the other night, I was chillin with a friend of mine... Pretty high... So, he says to me "You know, the fact that we're smoking a plant that comes from the earth, blablabla, Pachamama, blablabla -this is what gave me the subject to write the first article on this blog- makes me believe there is a God...
After staring him in awe and telling him that he's becoming a dirty hippie, I reply "You know what makes me believe theres a God?? Tangerines...". Why? Well, here's the point of this post: Some kind of extreme advertising of tangerines. That's all...

LOOK AT THAT FUCKER... TANGERINES, GODDAMM!!!!

THIS LITTLE AWESOMENESS IS JUICE INSIDE A SKIN, THEY MELT INSIDE YOUR MOUTH, THEY WILL GIVE YOU MULTIPLE ORGASMS, AND GRANT ANY WISH!!!


YOU MUST BE A COMMIE TO NOT LIKE THEM, BECAUSE THEY'RE GOOD FOR THE NATIONAL CAUSE!! AMERICAN TANGERINES, FUCK YEAH!!

PUT ASIDE SISSY APPLES, WIMPY ORANGES OR THE FAGGISH BANANA!! THE TANGERINE IS THE NOURISHMENT OF THE GODS!! 10 SECONDS PEELING THEM AND AN ETERNITY OF FLAVOR, BLISS AND AROUSAL!!!

SEE THIS?? THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ART, WHEN NOT PORNOGRAPHY!! NOW GO DRY YOUR CROTCH AFTER SEEING THIS BEAUTY!!

TANGERINES, AAAARARGGHGHGHHHHHH!!!!


Well, I'm satisfied now... Jokes aside, I consider tangerines to be almost sacred... Easy to peel, sweet, sometimes tart and good for any diet... Cons, anyone??
Rings any bells, people??

The pictures illustrate a Murcott tangerine... Even though I'll kill anyone to get Dancy tangerines the year round...

Listening to The Baseballs... They fuckin rock, man!!



EDIT: I'm astonished thath noone got the obscure reference to Goatse ...

Clickie, clickie, please!! Ha, ha, ha!! I'm using the interwebz!!


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Español: 
Hola, mis amigos, y bienvenidos. Permítanme comenzar diciendo que, a pesar del título, me considero un agnóstico. Creo en el destino y toda esa mierda ...

Pero, la otra noche, yo estaba tranqui con un amigo ... Bastante fumados ... Y él me dice "Sabes, el hecho de que estamos fumando una planta que viene de la tierra, blablabla, la Pachamama, blablabla-esto es lo que me dio el tema para escribir el primer artículo en este blog- me hace creer hay un Dios ...
Después de mirarlo fijamente totalmente sorprendido y le decirle que se está convirtiendo en una hippie sucia, yo respondo "¿Sabes lo que me hace creer que hay un Dios?? Mandarinas...". ¿Por qué? Bueno, aca está el punto de este post: Hacer algo asi como publicidad extrema acerca de Mandarinas. Eso es todo ...

MIRA A LA HIJA DE PUTA!! MANDARINAS, CARAJO!!

ESTA PEQUEÑA MARAVILLA ES JUGO DENTRO DE UNA CASCARA, SE DERRITEN ADENTRO DE TU BOCA, TE DAN ORGASMOS MULTIPLES Y TE CONCEDEN CUALQUIER DESEO!!

TENES QUE SER UN COMUNISTA PARA QUE NO TE GUSTEN, YA QUE LA MANDARINA ES BUENA PARA LA CAUSA NACIONAL!!! LA MANDARINA ARGENTINA, CARAJO!!

DEJEN A UN LADO LAS MANZANAS MARICONAS, LAS NARANJAS DE MIERDA O LAS BANANAS DE TRAGASABLES, LA MANDARINA ES EL ALIMENTO DE LOS DIOSES!! 10 SEGUNDOS PARA PELARLAS Y UNA ETERNIDAD DE SABOR, EXTASIS Y CALENTURA!!

VES ESTO?? ESTO DEBERIA SER CONSIDERADO ARTE, CUANDO NO PORNOGRAFIA!! AHORA ANDA A SECARTE LA ENTREPIERNA DESPUES DE VER ESTA BELLEZA!!

MANDARINAS, AAAAAAAAARGGGG!!
Bueno, estoy satisfecho... Bromas aparte, considero que las mandarinas son algo casi sagrado ... Fáciles de pelar, dulces, a veces acidas y buenas para cualquier dieta ... Contras, alguno?

Las imágenes ilustran una mandarina Murcott ... A pesar de que podria matar a cualquiera para obtener mandarinas Dancy durante todo el año ...

Estoy escuchando a "The Baseballs" ... Como rockean, loco!!

Clickeen, que hace bien...

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Los saluda/ Goodbye from:
Su amigo/your friend Number Eight

Adieu!!

25 comentarios:

  1. This orange had a nice life.

    RIP

    <3
    Sillyoldbum

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  2. Damn i thought i was the only one that got high and obsessed about Tangerines. :D

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  3. there's an easier way to peel tangerines than the method used here. it's a lot cleaner too

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  4. Very interesting, dude!
    Tangerines are my favorite fruits.

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  5. haha nice. & also they have tons of sponsors who pay for the cars so its not a big deal. Besides most of those guys are already rich to be racing in that series

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  6. tnx for the tips;)
    nice blog that looks cool man !;)
    supporting & following you;)

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  7. I loled so hard at the tangerine part =D

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  8. Awesome blog, showing support and following!

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  9. nice post man =)
    good luck with the rest of your blog!

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  10. Too much smoking, are we? :D

    Supporting

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